Let’s just say that I’m probably not the target market. But that’s never stopped Netflix from recommending anything, at least to me. It’s like, oh, here’s a couple folks you like and a few action scenes, it’s totally your thing!


Sure, it’s beautifully produced, and has some incredible acting. I mean, Charlize Theron, Michelle Yeoh, Cate Blanchette, Kerry Washington, Laurence Fishburn, and Kit Young, amiright?

The costuming is as impeccable as the story line is predictable. The special effects are as on-point as the, well, as the dialog is predictable.

Did I mention that I’m probably not the target audience? Maybe 45 years ago I would’ve thought this was avant gard. Then again, I’ve been jaded for a very, very, v-e–r—y long time, so maybe not.

All this said, though.

Definitely a pretty way to pass a couple hours. Even with the ho-hum story and phrases, the actors were excellent and the staging made it fun. Doubt I’ll watch it again, though. Maybe as background noise and something to look at while on hold making important phone calls? Maybe?

Ok, there’s one thing that really, really bugs me. And that’s who played Sophie. Sophia Anne Caruso was definitely the weakest actor of the bunch, which is too bad because she’s absolutely a prantagonist. Prontagonist? The antagonist masquerading as a protagonist?

First she tries too hard to be the protagonist, then she tries too hard to be the antagonist, and then she tries too hard to be redeemed. Yeah. She’s whatever that’s called.

From the second she gets on the screen I wanna wipe off those ridiculous eyebrows and drop the screechy voice a couple octaves. It’s clear that she’s the empty vessel to be filled with whatever the scene needs, and the actress comes across as utterly detached from the character.

Like so many actors these days, she does a great job acting the part. Everyone else in the film is definitely their character in every scene. Sophie, Gregor, and the Ugly Teacher were busily doing the technically good acting thing. Charlize, however, looked like she was having altogether too much fun in her role as the Head Mistress of The School of Evil.

And what is up with girls getting touted as the fairest of them all? I mean, Kristen Stewart and now Ms. Caruso? With Charlize Theron nearby? Yeah. That’s a hell no.

Especially not with those eyebrows ๐Ÿ˜†.