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Momma said,

  • If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
  • If you sit around with a bunch of complainers all the time, you’re an energy vampire.
  • If you gossip about someone, you ruin someone’s reputation, alright … your own.

And Yet, We Get Duped By Nice

People often wonder why they had no clue how terrible something was, or about the abusive the father next door, or how ridiculously expensive something is now that an entitled trust-fund brat took over a company.

But we live in a society where it’s important to be nice and spew positivity around like manure. And it is not ok to be truthful and set reasonable expectations. Our zeitgeist is to not only forgive and forget, but to get raped and never tell.

Unless you’re the rapist. Then you can brag because it proves who’s the strongest, richest, rightest, and whitest manly man. As the winner in this power struggle, it’s also your prerogative to play nice until said slight happens, thus making it even more effective when you go Tя☭‪ᴍ‬₽-shit crazy.

In other words, if you’re on top, projectile vomit about everyone else’s misperceived slights against you. But if you’re not on top, and chances are pretty good you’re not, then sweep it under the rug in a hidden closet, and hope the closet’s skeletons never start to rot.

To continue this metaphor, over time the rug will become lumpy and unusable. Meaning your relationship is untenable.

I believe this part of our culture is destroying us, so there are will be at least three more posts in the coming weeks to explore this issue.

  • Part 2: How Playing Nice Rewards Abusers (this link will work after 2023.01.17)
  • Part 3: How Playing Nice Punishes Victims (this link will work after 2023.01.24)
  • Part 4: What We Can Do About Nice Being Misused (this link will work after 2023.01.31)